Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -178

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what sucks? things that suck

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops