Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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knock knock whos there not me

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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matt shut up

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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