what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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my friend said this website was funny, you know what i said?.... its really not!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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