how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

thumb_up thumb_down -1

To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Fill in the _________ Ans: Cup Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what color is blue? green

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

thumb_up thumb_down +70

hi im paul!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops