Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Why? Because racecar.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops