Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Animal

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops