A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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Fat people.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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