a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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black people. that is all...

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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The Olympics

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops