What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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