What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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