"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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How did the girl die? 25.

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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