Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown an sticky Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops