How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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I am on a escalator.

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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