What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

thumb_up thumb_down +36

"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops