What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

cory is gay

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

maddie latino

A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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