what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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What is worse

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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Why did the boy die at his Halloween party? He was the victim of a drive-by.

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A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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T-Dog scare me

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Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

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Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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