A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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like my drawing of a white person?

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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