Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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balls in ya mouf

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no u

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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