Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

thumb_up thumb_down +36

go go gadget

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops