why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

thumb_up thumb_down -28

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's brown? My toilet hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +45

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops