Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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clamidia

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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The Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops