What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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GONNA

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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