how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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240

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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