Vicky is my best friend.

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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This is a joke

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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