Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

Why did the chicken cross the road It didint make it across

Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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