Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

thumb_up thumb_down +19

varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops