Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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