A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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when debbie meets downer

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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