Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Yo mama is so hairy she should probably start shaving.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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