Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

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Everybody will die

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Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

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Two stoners walk into a bar. They didn't drive there because they were high and wanted to enjoy a cool, evening stroll.

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops