My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

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Women's Rights

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women's rights

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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