Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops