Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

HI MY NAME IS DOUG

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is red white and blue Blood. I was lying about the white and blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 was convicted of a murder, but was released due to lack of evidence, and 6 is very concerned for the protection of himself and his growing family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops