Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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Guess What! HI!

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Leave her alone...

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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