Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

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Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Q: whats the differences between a bra and the canucks?? A: a bra has two cups

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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