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why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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woman's rights

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whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

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lol a man is drowning

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A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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What do you call a bear with no fur? A taco.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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