What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

Anything Dane Cook says

A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

Mitch

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had 3 testicles

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

why did the internet crash? it didn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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