If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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A gay dyslexic black man walks in to a bar the bar tender say "what'll it be" and then he orders his drink and pays his bill and leaves.

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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what makes margaritas good. illegal immagrants in the basement.

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Your moms so dumb she stuffed a battery up her butt and said i got the POWA!

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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