Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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