What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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there was a blonde red head and black they were on misty mountain the black was the smartest so she jumped off and said bird flew like a bird the red jumped and said falcon and glided like a falcon then the blonde the dumb one tripped said oh crap turned into crap and wentt to the bottom and bursted

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family weaped his final days of his life.

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you suck

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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hey, my names mark.

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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