Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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GIVE

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What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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