What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +23

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

thumb_up thumb_down +23

THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The sentence below is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops