Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

Moooo

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

cancer

Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

There's a god, just kidding.

- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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