A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This is not an anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

full house

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops