Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

1.....2.....3.....boom you died

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

why was the black man forced to sit at the back of the bus ? it was a busy day.

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

tom pauling

What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

A man killed himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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