Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Popsicles

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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