How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

lebron

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops