Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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The Bible

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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^that joke's not funny

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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