A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

How do you survive the plague? you dont.

Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

I am on a escalator.

I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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