What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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who broke the little boys window? his abductor/rapist.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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What do you call a Chinese man flying plane? A pilot.

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Why did it suck to be a black jew during the Holocaust? cause you had to go to the back of the oven

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

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What's black and white and red all over A nun falling down the stairs

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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